Been home for a full week since graduating & alotta shyt is on my mind. Thinking about writing all this crap is making me upset. Idk why. I hate sitting & thinking for long periods of time & when I’m done still not knowing wtf is wrong w/ me, how to decipher my thoughts & feelings, and wat to do better to make me a better me. Got some skin tags (moles) removed I’ve had for a looonngg time, thinking it wud make me feel better. It didn’t. Tho its a relief to not be as self conscious as I was, esp. wearing low cut shirts, I don’t feel like much has changed. Prolly b/c it didn’t. I’m fat. & until I take steps towards changing tht, no procedure or wardrobe or haircut can make me feel any better than a lard ass. This job search shyt is crazy. I’ve found a few jobs in my area w/ the help of some former classmates & I’m pretty excited. I’ve been sending out my resume, puttn in apps but sumthin in the back of my mind is like whoooaaa! Nigga ur bouta be a whole adult w/ bills n shyt & a 9-5. Altho no job in media is ever 9-5, tht responsibility of waking up every morning w/ the sole task of working for a company to make shyt run smoothly is scary. I can do tht shyt tho. Eff it rock out. I have so much more shyt say but I’m tired of typing. Fat problems. Adios.